My high school boyfriend was smart and funny. I dated him for four years because we were a good personality match and those qualities have topped The List ever since.
We broke up and in college, a big guy swept me off my feet at a bar. The way he made me feel so petite and cute when he wrapped me in his arms was TDF.
He moved away and my post-college roommate’s preference for tall guys rubbed off on me (chalk it up to female competition) and I kept my eyes out for the big and tall variety.
[This also all has to do with never wanting to outweigh my partner, so dating big and tall ensures that even when pregnant – assuming that’s the time in my life I’ll be the heaviest – I likely will not weigh more than him.]
Then I dated a funny, smart, bigger, tallish basketball coach and even though he was super busy, his passion for the sport and his athletes (high schoolers) was sexy, so I added coach to the list but then decided it was slight overkill, so I adapted it to “must be passionate…and athletic…and with a heart of gold that means he may one day coach our kiddos’ sports teams.”
The coach was older by five years, so the next one, naturally was 11 years older. And tall and not big-fat as a few of the previous ones had been, more big-muscular. Older is nice and I have a huge aversion to younger guys, but I am getting better at being open to it because age means nothing when it comes to maturity, which is the important part – add it to The List!
The old man boyfriend and the next one (smart, funny, big and tall, mature sometimes and by sometimes I mean mostly just on paper) helped me decide that adventurous and skilled in the sack were musts for The List as well. That’s a given, though, right?
I’m not getting any younger and I know my dating pool is getting smaller and smaller, but with every guy I date, The List gets more and more selective. This is not looking promising.
And NOW we’re adding a Southern accent to the list. I need a man who drawls when he talks to me! I only notice it occasionally, but it’s so stinkin’ adorable.
And he hits all the other qualifications (well, he’s not big, and I’m still guessing on one because he respects himself and me and values sex enough to take it slow, but his kisses let me know it’s going to be well worth the wait) plus he’s handy around the house and can cook (traits that are on the list, I think from the whole “all women end up marrying someone like their dad” thing).
Maybe there’s something to be said about knowing what you like and going for it!