So, as I bragged about in my WWW post for the week, I got rid of Rebel. First of all, what kind of cold-hearted woman BRAGS about breaking up with someone? What kind of woman gives herself so much credit anyway?
Things with R were not serious, there had been no L word mentioned (but there were red roses on V-Day…women read into that and I think men know that, so WTF?) and while, I think we were both kinda like, “you’re cool, I like hanging out with you,” I don’t think he was madly in love with me and I broke his poor, little heart by any means.
In fact, after going back and forth on a few issues, I said that we weren’t going to work out was because I was looking for something serious and he just wasn’t that. After refuting all of my other reasons, to THAT, he was kind of like, “yeah, okay.”
So there you have it. I can’t blame him for not wanting anything serious in his life right now and he can’t blame me for seeking it.
But, I know if it were up to him, we would have trucked along with the status quo. The break up was definitely one-sided and I have guilt over it and am a little sad for the loss of him as a friend.
So yesterday when he posted something on Facebook about how it’s weird to go from talking to someone every day to just not, I sent him a text, being all, “no it’s cool, we can still talk, let’s be friends, let’s do all the stuff we talked about doing before.” And I would truly be fine with that – because nothing has changed for me.
I thought of him as a good friend before and basically it just took me some time to tell him that. But to him, we were in a romantic relationship and, at least for the time being, I was his someone. Until I called an audible.
Kinda like exactly what happened to me in November. And the November guy legitimately wanted to be friends. And so did I, at first, because I thought it would lead to him realizing how awesome I am and how lame he was for thinking otherwise. But, just because his feelings weren’t there, didn’t mean mine could just go away and it was best for me to not see him at all anymore.
So when Rebel didn’t respond to my text, I was a little hurt, but understood. It’s not fair to tell someone that he’s awesome and you still want to hang out, but that it’s not going anywhere and eventually you’re going to want to make out and stuff with other guys instead of him. You can’t have it both ways.
I’m glad I’m on this other side again. My guilt over ending things is nothing compared to the guilt I felt for keeping him on my hook. Most importantly, I am really glad my boyfriend spot is free.
I’m totally loving Jerrod Niemann’s painfully true song, What Do You Want?, right now. So, please enjoy his panty-dropping voice singing about the selfishness and heartache of staying in touch with exes: