Rebel is great. Sweet and funny, genuine, a total gentleman and let’s be honest, he has the coolest blog nickname I’ve ever had for a romantic interest. Plus, I met him organically, which is huge for me, AND let’s revisit the beautiful flowers he sent me out of nowhere.
The romantic in me, who loves to toss all my eggs in one basket, cover them up with petals, tie tulle bows on it and hand it over to a four- to six-year-old daughter of a relative or family friend, thought this could be it. (Rebel, please move to the left with the seven other “its” I’ve known in my life…honestly, you would think this would get old for me at some point.)
I also considered that, if nothing else, he could be my rebound. Who doesn’t want a flirty guy around? Someone who tells her how great and cute she is? Someone to take her on lovely dates, help her around the house and watch awfully girly movies while cuddling but never pushing it too far?
Me, apparently. And I know that sounds like more than just a rebound. I feel like I’m taking advantage of this nice guy. Thus my guilt. I should probably just admit old maid status and seek out a fag to my hag.
I was really into him at first. The first date actually was pretty great and two and three were nice, but I don’t think I’m feeling it. I like him just fine, but I don’t think I LIKE him like him. If I have to think about it, does that mean I’m not and I don’t? Is there a window on these kind of things?
After our third date on Monday, he told me he gets kind of nervous around me. It’s nice to not be the nervy one, but I wouldn’t be mad if a FEW butterflies wanted to take up residence.
Because of our schedules, we’ve only been hanging out about once a week…maybe it needs a little more momentum? He’s not making attempts to quickly round the bases, which I haven’t experienced in relationships in too long (like since high school) and really appreciate. It’s given me time to figure out my feelings without any annoying oxytocin getting in the way. Good for me, bad for him (based on the assumption that he’s kinda into me, which I get the vibe that he is).
I get it, Universe. Now I’m on the other side. Maybe it’s a test. Am I ready to implement the romantic lessons I’ve learned this year and embrace my “new” way of dating?