The Meet Market: Community Events

Phew.  That was close.  I know you were quite concerned that The Meet Market was coming to an abrupt halt.  The man who I thought I was pausing for didn’t quite work out, so as of April 8th, I was back on the prowl, probably with a little more gusto because I was burnt out on online dating and meeting a man organically is looking better by the day.

I picked April for community events because it’s prime time for them in Arizona.  The weather is (usually) beautiful and the weekends are packed with events.

I volunteered, I ate and drank, I ran and I watched recreational sports leagues.  All in large groups of strangers, many of them attractive men.

I was told I was smoking hot by drunk old men, but even that helps the swagga, right?  I flirted.  I learned that for flirting to turn into talking and connecting, you need to ask open-ended questions.  I got a phone number of a Jersey Shore wannabe.  I realized it’s hard to meet men when you’re with your mom. 

And finally, in accordance with my NEW new attitude about dating, I remembered how fun it is to get out and do things I enjoy with friends or family and enjoy the gorgeous spring weather.

Meet Market 4, MJ 0.  C’est le vie.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Remember when I was all, “I am conceited confident, but I’m not perfect, sometimes I still call myself a girl when I want to be considered a woman“?

Approximately four hours later, I proved ALL of those things with one sentence.

Last night, I walked into my apartment gym and as I was getting on the last open treadmill, the guy next to me started to get off his.

Talking to people at the gym – especially the small apartment gym – is awkward, but I had something to say, so I politely waited until he disconnected his earbuds from the TV on the tread. 

“Are you afraid you’re going to lose to a girl?” 

Who AM I?  (Please note that one of my worst habits is being the one laughing the hardest at my own jokes, so there was no real mistaking the intention behind the challenge and he laughed too.)

Now, was he getting off his treadmill because…

A. He was done
B.  He WAS afraid he was going to lose to a girl (perhaps one of those times when girl is appropriate?)
C.  The treadmill I had jumped on was broken and he was gallantly giving his up to me

Little bit of column A, little bit of column C.  Oops.  Not so much B because his time killed mine, but hey, I’m running through an injury here!

I’ve always thought that my cuteness interferes with people hearing my message (well, always after I heard that quote on HIMYM), but perhaps my abrasive, ball busting way of flirting  interferes with men seeing my cuteness?  Ah, clarity.

The Meet Market: The Gym

In my quest to prove you CAN find a nice guy to date organically, I set out to meet a man at the gym this month.

I’ve had a crush on/flirted with/been asked out by/dated five gym staff members in my gym-going career. But since those men are paid to make me feel good about myself and flirt a bit to get the sale, I tried to focus this month on meeting other members.  Male members.  Wait, ew.  Well, I mean, maybe eventually, but, well, let’s just move on.

See, here’s the probelm…I was a member of a gym for approximately 18 days this month (my lawsuit-membership ran out early on and I did a five-day trial at another gym…yes, mostly for the purpose of extending the opportunity to meet a guy) and I went to a gym maybe six of those days.  Oops. 

I didn’t meet any men, I mostly just drooled over their muscles. 

Mistakes I made:

1.  Not going during peak times.  I am an early morning / early afternoon during the week type and early morning on the weekend type.  Hunky men are sleeping or working at those times.  I ended up working out with old people and housewives.

2.  Being the girl who doesn’t care what she looks like at the gym.  Like at all.  There’s a fine line and I realized one day while watching my form on some strength exercises that I was on the wrong side.

3.  Listening to my iPod.  I don’t like not having music!  I don’t want to listen to the gorilla juice heads grunting or the old men singing to THEIR music.

4.  Being unapproachable.  This is a compilation of the above AND the story of my life.

Mistakes I didn’t make:

1.  Thinking I can meet a suitable guy at the gym.  There are a lot of attractive men there and fitness is important to me, so if he’s there, I already know we have that in common.

2.  Forcing myself back to the big box gyms (instead of relying on my little gym at my apartment complex) because I remembered how much I love it and it helped me switch up my routine. 

So, yeah, no success this month, but I might join another gym and keep this as an option!  If nothing else, I’ll be cut!

From Boy Friend to Boyfriend

I’m certain I’ve read this article many times in many incarnations in the pages of Seventeen, Teen and Cosmo Girl many years ago. I’m sure my current literature of choice – Marie Claire, Cosmo and Glamour – have touched on this topic occasionally as well, although for the most part, they seem to advocate trolling bars/Starbucks/your boss’s office for herpes men.

I’ve always been so enchanted when I’ve been asked out straight away, even more so if it becomes a relationship.  It’s so romantic and serendipitous.  I’m a big fan of fate, but I’m also a big fan of success and so far, this whole destiny thing has not worked out in my favor, so perhaps it’s time to go back to basics. 

And to Barnes & Noble to hide in a corner reading magazines meant for high school freshmen to remember how to do so. 

I’m not even sure that this guy (let’s call him Rebel) counts as a friend, because we don’t hang out.  We used to work together and chatted between running food and fake-smiling at assholes guests. I kinda started flirting with Rebel the moment I met him, but he didn’t try to get in my pants at that same moment – I’ve actually known this respectful man for about three months now with no attempts – so I think that puts him in the friend zone. 

Not the Friend Zone, mind you.  That one’s permanent.  The friend zone, on the other hand, is more of a waiting space, a sorting area, if you will. 

Eventually, Rebel picked up what I was dropping down and started flirting back. He’s the man who sent me flowers – yes, without so much as a precursory date…this one does it right! We’ve been taking turns attempting to make plans even though our schedules hate each other.  I guess the point is that we keep trying. 

We like each other and once we put that out there, our walls kind of came down.  It’s fun to flirt a little and change how we talk to each other, tiptoeing out of the friend zone in a cute and innocent way. And I’m reminded that it is still fate to have someone come into your life and become someone special, regardless of the amount of time it takes to get there.

Eventually we may try the transition thing (although for now, my new attitude about dating is telling me to have fun and take it one step at a time).  For tonight, we’re trying the date thing!