Poor, Poor Pitiful Me

Okay, out with it…I’ve had nine dates with six men in the past eight days.  And what has it gotten me?  Too much food, too much wine and three men who may or may not think we have plans tonight.  All I want to do is go to a yoga class, come home to put on stretchy pants, bake, do laundry and watch Hulu.  

I’ve still fit in all my workouts, seen my fam and slept a good amount, but I’m so burnt out on the whole thing.  And okay, maybe developing a little guilt.

Five of the men I met online, so they have to assume I’m dating other people, at least at this stage, but even I can admit it’s a little extreme.  It’s one thing to have coffee with a man on a Saturday afternoon and then meet up with someone at a wine bar later in the week after he returns from a business trip, but it’s another thing to pack dates in between them like sardines. 

However, I’m not doing it just to do it and tick off my numbers (last night was #10 BTW…getting scary close), these are all men who I was genuinely intrigued by and interested in after connecting on Match, which leads to another point…

I’m getting good at this.  None of the five guys was a walking red flag.  Those are not odds I’m used to.  Usually I’d end up with a least one disaster, but they were all nice, made me laugh and I had a good time with them. 

One came off as a bit of a music snob and talked over me a few times, another was a bit too “Scottsdale” for my tastes (while claiming to not be “Scottsdale”).  One had shaved legs and wore Vibrams on our date.  It was a little strange, but kind of awesome because he’s a pretty serious triathlete.  And last night I cringed a bit when my date asked to see the wine list for a second glass, but it was less about getting away from him and more about just getting in my PJs.  Not one had me considering ditching him via the bathroom.

That being said, four of them are not getting second dates.  It’s all about the intangible and the 4:1 ratio there is much more what I’m used to.

The sixth is a Rebel 2.0 (he’s nice and fun and not for me, but likes me and I was hurt by Non-Mush, so the cycle continues).  We’ve been out a handful of times, but I think it’s time to come clean.

Rebel 2.0 was one of the guys I made tentative plans with tonight, but since starting this, he got the “I’m super burnt out, let’s rain check” excuse.  So much for coming clean.  I’m bad at this.  No Name got the “you’re too busy and I’ve met someone who’s not” line because I can be honest with him like that and it’s a dance we’ve done a few times now. 

As for the “someone who’s not,” he’s the third for tonight, and the one I’d most like to see if I wanted to see anyone besides Erica and Dr. Tom.  We’re spending a good chunk of the weekend together anyway so I think he’ll understand.

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The Meet Market

Last week, I wrote a guest post over at The Chick Lit Bee about how we single gals would meet men if we were, indeed, heroines of our own chick lit adventures.  They always seem to run into a handsome, charming and available stranger somewhere in their day-to-day.

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Since I’m being quite the go-getter in 2011 AND because I love the idea of scoping out and flirting with attractive men and calling it research, I am going to explore one organic way to meet a man every month. 

Here’s my subject-to-change schedule:
January – Bar  
February – Gym
March – Driving Range
April – Community Events
May – Grocery Store
June – Sports Game
July –  Man Stores like Sports Authority, Home Depot and Apple
August – Vacation
September – Volunteering
October – Wedding(s)
November – Bookstore
December – Coffee Shop

So, how am I going to play this game?

Stake out these places.  Assess the attractive, single male situation.  Look damn good AND approachable.  If “approachable” is not working, approach (it is 2011 after all).  Flirt.

The ultimate goal is to actually have a date come out of these stake outs.  This isn’t just a social experiment to discover the best places (in the greater Phoenix-area anyway) to meet men, it’s also going to be a bit of a challenge for little, introverted me and great dating practice. (However, I’m a romantic at heart and if I meet someone potentially great, the game pauses indefinitely.)

Anybody else need to up their game and want to join me?  What places have you met men that I might have overlooked?

A Good Week

After a funky start on Sunday, I had a good week.  Was it because it was only a four-day work week and I have been looking forward to forced family fun in the form of Dad’s birthday celebration + Steelers in the AFC Championship game this weekend? Perhaps.

For the most part, I was just in a blessed and happy mood all week.

My extra day off started with me being a lazy bum, sitting on my couch, but as I looked around, I thought, I really love my apartment, so I went shopping for some pretty little art pieces to express my love.  I’m quite noncommittal when it comes to art, so having these additions is huge!  I also FINALLY got a nice coffee maker

My knee started bothering me last week and has not quit.  On my Wednesday run it left me quitting early and mostly limping home (because it knows I should just give it a break, but I struggle with breaks).  This leisurely stroll when I was supposed to be training  and sweating killed me, but it did give me time to look around and realize I’m so grateful to be in Scottsdale and that it’s the prettiest place I’ve ever lived. My part of Scottsdale is more deserty than any other city I’ve lived in in Arizona and has an amazing view of the mountains.  I know someone from a different part of the country might not get it, but it’s beautiful to me!

And…my first date last night went really well!  I’ve come to not expect too much from the guys I’ve met online, but after a few duds and douches, I karmically earn a good one (it’s a scientific fact) and he was it.  Good conversation + good sushi.  Although I told him my theory about two-phase first dates (I don’t like them, I don’t do them), we took time after to stroll through some art galleries in Old Town Scottsdale (conveniently, every Thursdays there’s an ArtWalk I’ve always wanted to go to).

By the end, we had made a friendly wager on the game and we were talking about a few ideas for future dates without having to catch ourselves and tack on the awkward, “well, if you want to hang out again.”  It was nice to know that we had both pretty much settled on date #2 and knew that the other person felt the same (for me, barring him pulling out any huge red flags during the remainder of the date, I was pretty sure I’d want a second about 30 minutes in).

Today at lunch, I got new running shoes. Since being serious about running is a relatively new thing for me, I don’t realize the miles I put on my shoes and I have to remind myself that they need to be replaced often (hopefully that will help prevent any more injuries).  They’re cute, but they’ve promised to stay in their box until my knee actually feels better this time.  Or until race day.  Because next Saturday I’m running no matter what.

Tonight, I’m having Friday night pizza like when I was a kid thanks to a freebie coupon I got for donating blood last month.  I miss TGIF, but Army Wives Season 3 on DVD will make a fine substitute.  Oh, hello, weekend!

Community

Reverb 10, Day 7 Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

In 2010, I definitely found myself in the blogging community.  I think it was in 2010 that I discovered the awesomeness that is Google Reader and began to actively jump into strangers’ lives on a daily basis (and stopped thinking of them as strangers).  I lost a little of that when I switched blogs and I actually felt that loss.  It’s why I was upset with my mother in a way that I hadn’t been since I was a surly teenager.  The blogosphere is a funny space because you put everything out there but then think you can stay anonymous.  I’m trying to balance that now and am happy with the growing sense of community I feel around my new blog.  I’d like to nurture that in the new year and even meet some of these bloggers with whom I sometimes feel so kindred.

In 2010, I left my job at a resort, which had hundreds of employees but never felt like a community.  Everyone there was out for blood and only looking out for number one.  I joined a small office as the sixth employee and feel much more connected with the people I work with now.

In 2011, I’d like to find a sense of community in my city.  I proclaim, probably a little too loudly, that I don’t fit in here.  I always wanted to live in Scottsdale, but now that I’m here, it feels like L.A. East and I left L.A. because it’s not my style.  That’s very narrow-minded of me and I know that.  Stereotypes are typically there for a reason, but they are not absolutes. I think with a little effort, I will find a niche in Scottsdale in which I feel comfortable, whether it’s with other bloggers/writers, through a running group, by volunteering or something else.