1. I told my sister I didn’t choose to spend money on the Alaska cruise next year. That phrase has become very empowering since I’ve learned it. To me, it says, I’m not poor, don’t feel bad for me, I’m in charge of my money and make smart decisions that are right for me. It was true, but it was a culmination of many reasons that made me not want to spend my money on it. For as much as she was talking to me and checking in with me, that shut her up pretty quickly and validated my decision.
2. My office holiday party (happy hour) is today. I work in a small eight-person office that is a remote location of a huge corporate office in beautiful San Diego. The SD office has a big party and monthly events like happy hours, bowling parties and running groups throughout the year. I appreciate that the bossman here makes an effort to so similar things for us, but still feel a little left out!
3. I’m going to try to look hot enough to get hit on by the older men that like to go to this particular bar, but not skanky enough so that my coworkers’ wives say nasty things about me.
4. Then I might go out for my girlfriend’s birthday. Or if I have a glass of wine, I might go home and go to sleep at 8.
5. Tomorrow it’s Christmas shopping or bust. I have no gifts, no ideas and just about no holiday spirit, but I have a deadline, so I’m going to get it done if it kills me. It’s years like this that make me think it’s kind of a stupid holiday when the meaning is forgotten and it becomes about forced gift giving and all.
6. Sunday I’m going shopping for me! I got a nice bonus from the nice SD office and am going to buy clothes like I haven’t bought clothes in a looong time, because I haven’t.
7. Lucky has a radar that flips on anytime I’m feeling mentally tough and ready to deal with the split. I feel like Chelsea. Or any of the Teen Moms really. Sometimes I watch that show and thank goodness I’m not so young and stupid anymore, but sometimes I am so young and stupid.
8. I have some mantras I’m repeating to myself about being better, deserving better, there being something and someone great and wonderful out there for me and they’re kind of working and I’m kind of taking him less seriously. Eventually I’ll get to the point where I don’t respond to him right away if at all and then to the point where I run into him again and think, “seriously?!”
9. On Facebook the other day, the married guy I dated early this summer changed his status to “married” to his wife again. I actually just think it’s kind of funny. He was very honest and upfront while we were going out that they had been separated for a while, but for money reasons were still living together and I really did get the vibe that she’d be cool if I ended up meeting her. It didn’t feel shady at all, but still I had to give him a hard time for giving me bad dating karma, but he says I gave it to myself for dumping him (I met Lucky) and that they WERE ON A BREAK. And we’re going to take our dogs on a doggie date. Happy endings for everyone.
10. In the world of entertainment, I watched One Day and The Change-Up this week. I liked One Day the book better. I think it had to do with Annie’s accent. I liked The Change-Up and found myself googling what it is that Leslie Mann and Olivia Wilde do for exercise because they both look hot! Leslie remains a mystery, but Olivia is all over the board with running, spinning, yoga, has hit the weights for roles, but in general walks with her dogs. NYK.