On This Lovely Friday

1.  I told my sister I didn’t choose to spend money on the Alaska cruise next year.  That phrase has become very empowering since I’ve learned it.  To me, it says, I’m not poor, don’t feel bad for me, I’m in charge of my money and make smart decisions that are right for me.  It was true, but it was a culmination of many reasons that made me not want to spend my money on it.  For as much as she was talking to me and checking in with me, that shut her up pretty quickly and validated my decision.

2.  My office holiday party (happy hour) is today.  I work in a small eight-person office that is a remote location of a huge corporate office in beautiful San Diego.  The SD office has a big party and monthly events like happy hours, bowling parties and running groups throughout the year.  I appreciate that the bossman here makes an effort to so similar things for us, but still feel a little left out!

3.  I’m going to try to look hot enough to get hit on by the older men that like to go to this particular bar, but not skanky enough so that my coworkers’ wives say nasty things about me.   

4.  Then I might go out for my girlfriend’s birthday.  Or if I have a glass of wine, I might go home and go to sleep at 8.

5.  Tomorrow it’s Christmas shopping or bust.  I have no gifts, no ideas and just about no holiday spirit, but I have a deadline, so I’m going to get it done if it kills me.  It’s years like this that make me think it’s kind of a stupid holiday when the meaning is forgotten and it becomes about forced gift giving and all.

6.  Sunday I’m going shopping for me!  I got a nice bonus from the nice SD office and am going to buy clothes like I haven’t bought clothes in a looong time, because I haven’t.

7. Lucky has a radar that flips on anytime I’m feeling mentally tough and ready to deal with the split.  I feel like Chelsea.  Or any of the Teen Moms really.  Sometimes I watch that show and thank goodness I’m not so young and stupid anymore, but sometimes I am so young and stupid.

8.  I have some mantras I’m repeating to myself about being better, deserving better, there being something and someone great and wonderful out there for me and they’re kind of working and I’m kind of taking him less seriously.  Eventually I’ll get to the point where I don’t respond to him right away if at all and then to the point where I run into him again and think, “seriously?!”

9.  On Facebook the other day, the married guy I dated early this summer changed his status to “married” to his wife again.  I actually just think it’s kind of funny.  He was very honest and upfront while we were going out that they had been separated for a while, but for money reasons were still living together and I really did get the vibe that she’d be cool if I ended up meeting her.  It didn’t feel shady at all, but still I had to give him a hard time for giving me bad dating karma, but he says I gave it to myself for dumping him (I met Lucky) and that they WERE ON A BREAK.  And we’re going to take our dogs on a doggie date. Happy endings for everyone.

10.  In the world of entertainment, I watched One Day and The Change-Up this week.  I liked One Day the book better.  I think it had to do with Annie’s accent.  I liked The Change-Up and found myself googling what it is that Leslie Mann and Olivia Wilde do for exercise because they both look hot!  Leslie remains a mystery, but Olivia is all over the board with running, spinning, yoga, has hit the weights for roles, but in general walks with her dogs.  NYK.

The End of the Week Brain Dump

I want chocolate in my office, but then I remember there’s a reason I don’t keep chocolate in my office. It’s a vicious cycle. Thank goodness there’s no vending machine around.

I thought about cancelling my internet.  I usually hate the advice that always tells people to cut the little expenses, but I already don’t have cable and buy coffee from a shop maybe once a month (and just found an awesome place that sells it for $0.50 hot or cold with free refills). But when I saw the $35 charge for internet come through this month, I considered cutting that out. My complex offers free wireless if I take my computer near the community center (and if I take it IN the community center, I would also get cable) plus I’d be less pulled into the computer…more about being social than interacting on social media, maybe get some writing done instead of jumping on the internet…but (sad realization now) without the internet, I couldn’t justify no cable because I always say I don’t need cable because I can watch my shows online. #singlewhitegirlproblems

If the advice in the book I picked up at the library yesterday, “Stop Getting Dumped” pans out (shutupdontjudgeme…review coming soon!), the author says I’m getting married in under three years, which seems like a long time, but it’s a lot more realistic than the books that claim they’ll get you to the chapel in 90 days.  If I’m married in under three years, I’m married before I turn 30.  Barely.  I’m going to be 30.  Fuck.  And I’m going to be 27 next week.  Fuck. 

It’s really not all about getting married or a timeline. 

I’m not entirely sure I was dumped.  Currently it feels like a hiccup and I think Lucky and I will work it out.  I think the book will teach me to behave more sensibly and teach me how to rein him in to behave sensibly so we can get back to growing a good relationship and we’ll see where it goes from there.

My proud, inner-eight-year-old-gymnast needs to CTFD in yoga because I REALLY didn’t need to take on the challenge of a minute in wheel when the instructor asked for any kind of back bend.  She suggested making it the hardest thing I did all day…accomplished and now I’m paying for it!

Online shopping for business attire totally qualifies as work-related and -appropriate activity.  I’ve been in the corporate world for five years without any real need for professional clothes, but am attending a two-day conference as a presenter next month so definitely need to step it up.  I think I’d be most comfortable in an easy dress, so now I’m on the hunt.  Any suggestions are greatly appreciated!

Things I don’t want to spend money on in the next few weeks (but have to anyway):  professional clothes; my car registration; nude shoes for my sister’s wedding (there was a whole shoe trying on party to determine what color is best with the dress and she’s drilling in that we should get wedges because it’s on grass – there are no appropriate nude wedges); the second half of the dress for the other wedding; there’s more, but we’ll just say, “anything wedding-related.” 

Things I wouldn’t mind spending money on, but don’t really have the money to do so:  dresses…I had a dream last night that my closet was filled with pretty, pretty dresses; girlfriends brunch on Sunday; workout clothes…I’m still wearing workout clothes from college days and considering how much I work out, that’s redic; massages, facials and pedicures, oh my; an extra day in San Diego when I’m there for work.

My coping mechanisms seemed to have improved.  I took my stress to the gym this week.  But I say seemed because yesterday I took it to the gym, but then took it from the gym to the grocery store for brie and chocolate.

My pattern of good, recent weight loss was no match for the brie night.  The chocolate is surprisingly still unopened, but I think I’m making something from CCK’s single serving archives tonight. 

It was cloudy and hot and gross out when I went to work at 6:30 this morning.  I love me some monsoons, but I have pool lounging plans this afternoon and they better not be ruined.

I work in the financial industry (but I’m not a financial smarty-pants or anything) and am not a fan of the special reports and all the buzz about the market.  As a wannabe home buyer, though, who can’t really afford anything good right now, I’m okay with it.  Although, I guess if I lost my job, I wouldn’t be able to afford anything even if the prices fell more.   Another vicious cycle.

I’m not a fan of being the only female in my office.  I just had a meeting during which the men were screaming over each other and when I found an in, I started to say something and was ignored and interrupted – twice. 

Thank goodness it’s the weekend!

Like a Double Date. But Not.

I like to pretend I’m invisible.  I’ve moved around a lot recently and always feel “new” to whatever area I happen to live in and have this idea that I’m too new to run into people I know when I’m out and about. 

But I’m not.  Invisible or too new.

There was the time I ran into my boss at Blockbuster.  I had stopped in on my way out to meet a date.  In getting ready for the date I put on a super slutastic dress, but at the last minute decided to throw some jeans on underneath it and make it more of a long tunic.  Thank goodness.  I don’t need my boss looking at me everyday thinking about that time he almost saw my naughty bits when I was by myself at Blockbuster on a Saturday night.

Then there was last night when I went on a date with OBE.  The first since our debate date last week.  I kinda like him so we’ll see where we end up, but that’s not the point.  The point is that I ran into my hairstylist there.

Oh yeah, and a guy I went out with over the weekend.  And his date.

Such is the awkwardness of online dating.  You have to assume the other person is seeing other people as well, but it’s just kind of weird when you become a spectator to that date.  They sat maybe five feet away from us, but at the bar with their backs to us. 

I spent most of the night trying to sneak peaks because I wasn’t 100% sure it was actually him, although, I’m not sure how many 6’5″ strawberry blond (seriously, he’s adorable) Adonises (oh yeah, and kinda sexy) are lurking around town.  

Before they left (after two hours, my date with Adonis was four, just saying), to add another layer, OBE said, “I worked out with that guy the other day.  He lives in my apartment complex.”

OBE  lives a mile from the bar.  And to the best of my knowledge, Adonis lives by me, 15 miles north, which is why it was so odd to see him there in the first place.

I have come up with the following possibilities:

Initial reaction:  Adonis lied about where he lives.  And is actually married with lots of blonde ridiculously-sized babies.

On second thought:  Maybe there ARE a handful of 6’5″ strawberry blondies parading around town.  At least if it doesn’t work out with either of these guys, I can do a simple trade.

Or maybe:  OBE lied for some reason. Or also didn’t get a good look at the guy at the gym and/or bar.

I couldn’t take it anymore and had to find out. Through a series of text messages this morning, I have uncovered the following:

Yes, it was Adonis at the bar.  Although he initially said he was out with a friend (and we all know that guys call guy friends “buddies”) and asked why I didn’t say hey, I called him out and told him it would have been awkward on his date.  He said, “it is what it is” and I said, well my date, who thinks he knows you and that you live near him, might have minded. 

Adonis insisted he lived by me and laughed at the situation.

OBE said that he was pretty sure it was the guy from his gym, but that he could have been mistaken. And he asked me why and I had to ‘fess up.  And then my comment I had made about how Adonis was likely counting on his height and bicep muscles to override his ugly shoes and get him laid came back to bite me in the ass.

And then OBE laughed at the situation.   

Is there a manual for this somewhere?

So, faith in men and dating, particularly online dating, might be a little shaky right now.  But, I think the important thing to remember here is that I’m not crazy.  Or blind.

And that I laughed at the situation.

Today I Wanted To…

…lay in bed and read all day, which I did a sufficient amount of with other productive things mixed in.

This kid is way smarter than me. He can read in SPANISH!

…wear my Steelers gear everywhere I went. 

…have a last-minute game night.  But, my friend is last-minute celebrating her birthday at a casino, which will also be lots of fun.

…run, even though I was supposed to be breaking from it, so I snuck in 4.5 easy miles.

…apply to live in the Big Brother house next summer.  So I did.

…daydream about living abroad.  So I looked for jobs.

…NOT have forced awkward conversation with a stranger.  But, I signed up for online dating, so I suffered through one more.

…take a nap.  I was exhausted, but for the life of me I couldn’t.

These babies didn't even help!

…figure out how to escalate from “friend of a friend” to “romantic interest” with a cute guy.  Step one – Facebook friending.  Check.  Step two – no idea.

The What-What

Update: My non-boyfriend Facebook boyfriend let the request hang for about 24 hours before figuring it out and changing his status back.  I feel bad for him, but seriously, dude, tread lightly when it comes to Facebook relationships. 

I’ve got a lot of reading to do this weekend if I want to get off to a good start with my resolution of one fiction and one non-fiction book per month (it WAS the first one on the list after all).  I’m 3/4 of the way through Racing Weight and about 30 pages into Jodi Picoult’s Handle With Care. How about we just call it 12 of each for the year?

People with children have no boundaries.  My boss did not think twice about giving me the detailed play-by-play of how his two boys handled having the flu all week.  And someday I will likely do the same to my poor, unsuspecting coworkers.

I’m wanderlusting big time.  Belize is on the top of my list.  Well, was, and then this week, I saw this.  Maybe Europe.  And although I’m bummed that it probably won’t be 2011, that doesn’t mean it can’t be January 2012!

This weekend is the first bridesmaids dress shopping adventure with Bridezilla my sister.  Direct quote from an email I JUST got from her: “My dress is HERE! There will be many more times I will need to go in for fittings [ed. note: lies…she measured a perfect size 2 and I imagine it will fit like a dream] so this is to try it on just because I CAN!” I’m sorry, I get that she’s excited (and that I will likely be just as obnoxious when it’s MY turn), but is it October yet?  In other wedding news, my other October bride is a dream, but I think two of the bridesmaids are going to throw down before the big day.

My first half-marathon is tomorrow!  My long run a few weeks ago took me over the distance of the race, so I should be fine, but it also left me with a knee injury and I haven’t been training as much as I’d have liked in the past two weeks.  The doubting voices in my head have a few other things to say as well, but in 21 hours I’m going to shut them up and hit the pavement.

That will probably be the last mention of wellness and running here because I’m posting on that over at my new wellness blog!  The one I kinda skimmed over here.  It is my second attempt at a public blog (my last one bombed because it didn’t have a focus).  I’m struggling with keeping one anon and one public blog and building readership of both.  If anyone has tips, I’d love to hear them!  And if anyone would like to continue to read about my fitness adventures and kitchen mishaps, email me at emjaye [at] ymail [dot] com and I will be glad to send you the link!

I’m staying at my parents’ house over the weekend because they are closer to the race and to the dress shop and civilization in general.  And because they’re out of town.  And I’m totally having a party.  Well, not really.  I’m on the fence about asking my ArtWalk guy over to make dinner (date #2 was not as great as that first one) or inviting some friends over for a game night.  Yeah, I’m 26, but it still feels like I’m breaking the rules!

Oh yeah, and I need advice about ArtWalk guy.  When do you call an attempted relationship off?  There are no red flags, just a lackluster date, but the first was good!  Do we try again in a different environment?