I have been to two chiropractors four times in a week and a half. My back/shoulder/neck is still in just as much pain as it was when I started. I moved my desk around so that there’s 0% strain to work at my computer. I’ve been hitting the Advil pretty hard and spent much of this morning researching acupuncture and cupping before settling on a deep tissue massage.
As I was prone on the table listening to the masseuse’s mix CD turned up awkwardly loud to drown out the sounds of the gym that the clinic was attached to (and also listening to the sounds of the gym because the CD wasn’t working), I wondered just how many 26-year-old women end up on that table because they’re on the cusp of breaking their very own no-sex record.
I usually just say I carry a lot of stress in my shoulders and that every now and then I need someone to help me pull them away from my ears (meaning the chiropractor, not a tall, dark and handsome man and his penis) but it’s bad this time around and that’s the only thing I can think of!
Sex not only helps reduce stress, the oxytocin and endorphins released during the mattress mambo are pain reducers as well. Hello! Need some of that in my life.
Luckily for me, until one wins out, I learned a long time ago that exercise releases endorphins, endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t kill their husbands. They just don’t. Hopefully happy people also don’t need to keep spending $150 weekly on medical treatment.
Condoms are much cheaper. A LOT of condoms are still much cheaper. That’s A LOT of sex + oxytocin + endorphins.
However, since oxytocin has this other, more obnoxious effect on me, tonight I’m just going with beer, a heating pad and my favorite new show, Happy Endings.