Today I expressed on Facebook that I needed something and that I would like someone to bring it to me so I didn’t have to think too hard about what that thing was.
[Please note that I avoided telling Facebook that I wanted someone to “give it to me” for fear that it would lead to quite an inappropriate thread that would confuse my mother because, yes she is on Facebook. And while, perhaps I do need some of THAT in my life right now, I’m looking for something bigger. And yes, that IS what she said.]
I’ve just been feeling ill-at-ease, a lack of focus. Complacency is creeping around the corner and I want nothing to do with it.
My mother has always told me if you’re bored then you’re boring and I was planning on spending some time this weekend manifesting something quite UNboring, but figured I’d put it out to the universe (Facebook) as well.
And then I got an email from my sis. I’m not sure if she had read my update or just randomly wanted to send me an email, but there it was in my inbox. She sent me links to two services she thought might be of interest to me.
The first was VistaPrint, the whole “get free business cards” thing. My dad has been telling me about this for a while, but I just haven’t narrowed in on what I might want to say about myself in 3.5″ x 2″ format, but picking a focus is exactly the kind of excitement I’m talking about.
The second was an “open publisher” that allows you to publish and even sell your own books. I’ve always loved to write and it always makes me smile when friends or family express support for it.
However, I haven’t been writing much (beyond here). I have mostly just been making excuses.
When I saw that email, I thought, Hey, she believes in me. I’m going to take some time to really write this weekend. And then I fell right back on my excuses.
But, I’m not writing because my computer might die on me and I don’t want to lose everything. And I want to buy a new computer so I won’t live in fear of that happening, but my old one is still working.
Yeah, I know. What sense does that make?
I thought good and hard. If I solved the great computer dilemma, what excuse would I fall back on? I came up with nothing. So to call my bluff, I went to Best Buy after work.
Since I’m not totally ridiculous, I didn’t end up buying one. I’ve done my research and everything, just waiting for a sale. I can’t bear to pay full price – and NO, that’s not just another excuse. I will get one and in the meantime, I’ll make sure to back up my work because this weekend I’m writing.