A Facebook Boyfriend?

The last time I was “In a Relationship” with someone on Facebook was in college. I was 21 and you still had to have a college or corporate email address to join and the basic features were cool, not stalkerish or relationship-destroying.

We were Romeo and Juliet.  Well, okay, not exactly, but definitely from different groups. As one of my friends delicately put it, “isn’t he, like, popular?” Why, yes, yes he is and he’s MY boyfriend. On Facebook nonetheless.

This morning – five years later – I woke up and like 28% of 18-34-year-olds, I checked Facebook on my Crackberry before even getting out of bed and had a request. “Rebel has requested you to add him as your boyfriend.”

Well, crap.

I wasn’t too shocked, so I suppose I should rewind to explain how we got here.  Spoiler alert:  This es no bueno.

It took a week after our fight for him to break the ice and attempt to put things back together and another week to find time to hang out.  Monday was the first time I saw him since the walk out and I meant to “break up” with him.  I say “break up” because I don’t feel like we were ever together, least of all now. 

But, he came over with a nice bottle of wine and a plan for a great date, so yeah, I didn’t break up with him and instead accepted his invite of another date on Wednesday.  Last night, Rebel and I stayed in and finally had the talk I attempted two weeks ago, but that I didn’t really care about having anymore.

He said lovely things, but they just can’t change how I feel about him or the things I’m looking for or the fact that, at least for now, he’s not those things and I kinda told him that, but he still thought it a good idea to end the conversation with, “and I’d like you to be my girlfriend.” And I kept very quiet.  It wasn’t actually a question after all.

Ugh.  So now what?  The request is just hanging there.  And yes, he already has friends “liking” and commenting on his update. 

I could have avoided this all together if I had cut it off back in December when I knew that’s where it was heading.  I’m so bad at being the dumper.  And after having jerks in my boyfriend spot for so long, it’s nice to have someone, well, nice, which makes me feel very UN-NICE for wanting to tow him out, especially now in such a public way.

8 thoughts on “A Facebook Boyfriend?

  1. Blah, Facebook has made things so sticky with those things! I remember it took me more than 6 months to officially list myself as “In a Relationship.” I guess I was too afraid of people making comments that he’d read, or what would happen if it didn’t last.

    If I was in your situation, I’d probably leave the request hanging…

  2. It took B and I two months to friend each other on facebook. And he didn’t get tagged in my facebook relationship slot until we got engaged. There was no need in my opinion – it kept random people in my life from harassing him and protected me from his crazy ex trying to be buddy buddy with me.

    Your name shouldn’t be attached to his profile for anyone to see unless you accept his request. And frankly, he’s an idiot to have sent that to you without making sure that you’re on the same page as he is.

    I’m not sure what I’d do here – B is the only person I’ve had as a facebook relationship – but, I’d probably go the confrontational route (of course, that’s the mood I’m in this week) and call him and ask him what the heck that’s all about. I don’t know though, like I said, I’ve been in a weird mood this week.

    Good luck!

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