Oprahisms Part Two

I may or may not have stayed at work for about an extra 45 minutes to avoid having to miss any of Oprah’s last show.  She teared up once, as did I.

Love her or hate her, her last show was wonderful and I would recommend watching it.  She did talk a bit about herself, which seems to be the biggest complaint I’ve heard about her lately, but mostly she spoke about what 25 years with her guests and viewers has taught her – a perfect combination of the things she knows for sure and her aha moments. 

If you don’t want to watch it, don’t worry, I took notes.

Always remember:

You are responsible for your life.  You are responsible for your energy.  You are responsible for the energy you bring to others.

You alone, are enough. 

Validate those around you.  Let them know you see them, you hear them and what they say matters to you.

Your life is always speaking to you.  It starts as a whisper and if you don’t listen you’re going to get smacked upside the head.

I’m a big believer that things, ideas, people come into your life when you need them, so these are the things that spoke to me this afternoon. 

My mom sent me a text halfway through the show to let me know she was recording it (because they just got DVR and on Mother’s Day got the lesson on how to do that) so I could watch it if I had missed it today.  I might watch it again.  I might hear different things that I need at that time.

A Facebook Boyfriend?

The last time I was “In a Relationship” with someone on Facebook was in college. I was 21 and you still had to have a college or corporate email address to join and the basic features were cool, not stalkerish or relationship-destroying.

We were Romeo and Juliet.  Well, okay, not exactly, but definitely from different groups. As one of my friends delicately put it, “isn’t he, like, popular?” Why, yes, yes he is and he’s MY boyfriend. On Facebook nonetheless.

This morning – five years later – I woke up and like 28% of 18-34-year-olds, I checked Facebook on my Crackberry before even getting out of bed and had a request. “Rebel has requested you to add him as your boyfriend.”

Well, crap.

I wasn’t too shocked, so I suppose I should rewind to explain how we got here.  Spoiler alert:  This es no bueno.

It took a week after our fight for him to break the ice and attempt to put things back together and another week to find time to hang out.  Monday was the first time I saw him since the walk out and I meant to “break up” with him.  I say “break up” because I don’t feel like we were ever together, least of all now. 

But, he came over with a nice bottle of wine and a plan for a great date, so yeah, I didn’t break up with him and instead accepted his invite of another date on Wednesday.  Last night, Rebel and I stayed in and finally had the talk I attempted two weeks ago, but that I didn’t really care about having anymore.

He said lovely things, but they just can’t change how I feel about him or the things I’m looking for or the fact that, at least for now, he’s not those things and I kinda told him that, but he still thought it a good idea to end the conversation with, “and I’d like you to be my girlfriend.” And I kept very quiet.  It wasn’t actually a question after all.

Ugh.  So now what?  The request is just hanging there.  And yes, he already has friends “liking” and commenting on his update. 

I could have avoided this all together if I had cut it off back in December when I knew that’s where it was heading.  I’m so bad at being the dumper.  And after having jerks in my boyfriend spot for so long, it’s nice to have someone, well, nice, which makes me feel very UN-NICE for wanting to tow him out, especially now in such a public way.

The Other Side

Rebel is great.  Sweet and funny, genuine, a total gentleman and let’s be honest, he has the coolest blog nickname I’ve ever had for a romantic interest.  Plus, I met him organically, which is huge for me, AND let’s revisit the beautiful flowers he sent me out of nowhere.

The romantic in me, who loves to toss all my eggs in one basket, cover them up with petals, tie tulle bows on it and hand it over to a four- to six-year-old daughter of a relative or family friend, thought this could be it.  (Rebel, please move to the left with the seven other “its” I’ve known in my life…honestly, you would think this would get old for me at some point.)

I also considered that, if nothing else, he could be my rebound.  Who doesn’t want a flirty guy around? Someone who tells her how great and cute she is?  Someone to take her on lovely dates, help her around the house and watch awfully girly movies while cuddling but never pushing it too far?

Me, apparently.  And I know that sounds like more than just a rebound.  I feel like I’m taking advantage of this nice guy.  Thus my guilt.  I should probably just admit old maid status and seek out a fag to my hag.

I was really into him at first.  The first date actually was pretty great and two and three were nice, but I don’t think I’m feeling it.  I like him just fine, but I don’t think I LIKE him like him.  If I have to think about it, does that mean I’m not and I don’t?  Is there a window on these kind of things? 

After our third date on Monday, he told me he gets kind of nervous around me.  It’s nice to not be the nervy one, but I wouldn’t be mad if a FEW butterflies wanted to take up residence. 

Because of our schedules, we’ve only been hanging out about once a week…maybe it needs a little more momentum?  He’s not making attempts to quickly round the bases, which I haven’t experienced in relationships in too long (like since high school) and really appreciate.  It’s given me time to figure out my feelings without any annoying oxytocin getting in the way.  Good for me, bad for him (based on the assumption that he’s kinda into me, which I get the vibe that he is).

I get it, Universe.  Now I’m on the other side.  Maybe it’s a test.  Am I ready to implement the romantic lessons I’ve learned this year and embrace my “new” way of dating?