In Mixed Company

Never believe someone named Dusty who you’ve known for all of 18 hours when he tells you that he’s got the perfect guy for you.  You know who will show up?  A short, skinny pothead with a fauxhawk. No thanks, Dusty.

In other news, couples are taking over the world.  My high school friends all got significant others when I moved back to Arizona (thinking we would all still hang out like the old days) and then fell off the face of the earth. 

So I got new friends.  Through Meetup, I found a group of women, many of whom have boyfriends or even are married, but still make an effort to make and spend time with girlfriends.  That’s pretty awesome if you ask me. 

I don’t want to give up myself, my interests and my own friends when a cute guy winks at me (I can admit I have been guilty of that in the past), so I took these women as proof that, with some concerted effort, having friends AND a boyfriend is totally possible.

However, this weekend, the men were in tow and things changed.  Being the single one around a bunch of couples is just about as awesome as just not being included in the first place.  Except you’re not at home in your PJs watching Hulu, so really, it’s not as awesome at all.

Really though, I had a great weekend.  It felt indulgently long.  There was music, dancing and red wine.  Warm fuzzies from volunteering, warm sun and a cool pool (and a deliciously early bed time).  A long run, couch time + movies and forced family fun, which was pretty darn fun.

It’s just that mixed in there was watching PDA from an uncomfortably close vantage point, which is whatever, but also confusion and hurt feelings over the way a girlfriend acted.  It hurt more when she recognized it, apologized for it, but then did it again. I knew she had jealousy and trust issues, but I never thought they would be directed at me.  Yes, I’m awesome, but I’m a good friend and deserve that in return.

*Disclaimer:  There was no dancing with this friend’s boyfriend, I just thought this picture was funny.

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Making Friends for Dummies

Go back to elementary school.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200.


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I moved back to Arizona in 2009 to be close to family and friends and to be honest, both have kind of let me down.  My parents would love to see me daily, that’s not really the point.  My sis has gone bridezilla other things on her mind and we live on opposite sides of a very large metropolitan area.

My friends have coupled off and done the whole disappearing thing (which I have admittedly been guilty of at times myself) and/or are in very different places in their lives. Plus, a few months ago, I up and moved about 30 minutes away from everyone I know here. 

The sad truth is that, although “do six friend things” was one of my first Winter Wonderland Warriors goals I crossed off back at the beginning of February, I haven’t done much with friends since then.

So, what’s a girl to do to avoid ONLY hanging out with her parents or ALWAYS sitting at home watching SATC?

Well, obviously I’m dating, but men you date don’t easily become men you are friends with, even if you’ve only been out with them once or twice.  It’s just weird.  It’s nice to have male friends without the pressure of romantic overtones and more importantly, a girl needs girlfriends. 

I kind of imagined I’d start dating someone and meld into his group of friends, but no guy would want to date a girl who didn’t have friends of her own!

I finally called out my best friend on his disappearing act.  I know why he did it, but I let him know it still sucks and he’s been making more of an effort in the friendship again which is nice. 

As a bonus, his house is social central to a group of really fun people (via his brother, another close friend).  It’s a strange thing to work my way in and become friends v. being friends of friends, but I’m tired of feeling lonely, so I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone.

Also, I’m finally participating in some Meetups.  I found a great women’s group to hang out with.  I’ve done a happy hour and baseball game with them and have committed to another game as well as a St. Patrick’s Day event. 

The event organizer hit it right on the nose when she said it’s like girl-dating because you have to strike up a conversation, find things in common, awkwardly ask for their phone number and ask them to hang out outside of the group. 

The girls are really nice and hopefully a few months down the road we will laugh about how awkward it was to get to know each other considering how well we get along.  Yeah, it’s totally dating.

If I could go back to fantasy college and take any course, Making Friends 101 would be on the top of the list!

Confessions of the Sleep-Deprived

Well, heeey March.  I was so darn excited for your arrival that I stayed up past my bedtime to usher you in at midnight.  Then I wanted to hang out with you more, so I woke up at 1 and 2 and finally at 2:30 for good. 

I think I’m onto something here.  If I only sleep for a few hours a night, I could get a lot done in the month of March.

Por ejemplo, this morning, since I was up four hours before it was acceptable to go to work, I…

…caught up on the uber funny Monday night shows I missed because I had a date (we went to a coffee shop and I had a so-called “decaf” Americano…lies) because, you know, I’m awesome and men want to date me. 

…cyberstalked said date from last night. Mostly I was interested in what he put as his height, because you KNOW men lie about this, which is why I won’t normally go for anything under 5’8″ because if they admit to being 5’7″ or shorter, they’re probably more like 5’3″ like my date (who “says” he’s 5’6″), which was the only thing that I might have changed!  Way to go eHarmony!

…cyberflirted with more men to find more dates and increase my “number” (not THAT number though, I’m being a good girl).

…RSVPed to some Meetups because I had a lot of fun at one of the events I went to over the weekend.

…caught up on some email.

…tweeted at ungodly hours.

…ran at the gym at 4am.

…watched Sex and the City while running at the gym at 4am.  Oh how I’ve missed those ladies.  I caught parts of two episodes around the time Charlotte was marrying Harry, who was totes not what she thought her dream man would be, but ended up being wonderful.  Hmm.

…did some laundry.

…caught up on Jersey Shore.  Well, one episode.  I’m still behind.

…made weekend breakfast!

…didn’t go as gourmet on my packed snacks + lunch for the day.  It’s a meal fit for an 8-year-old – PB and honey on a tortilla, an apple and a granola bar.

…painted my nails.

…finally went to work.

I’m so already looking forward to going to bed early + sleeping in + naps this weekend!

WWW2

Alternate title:  Bring It On

It’s week #2 of the Winter Wonderland Warrior Challenge.  Check out my first Winter Wonderland Warriors post here

Life's Journey with a Smile

Or, if you’re feeling lazy, don’t move an inch, I’ll bring my goals to you.  You’re welcome.

  1. Lose 5 pounds in January and maintain (starting is 122.6).
  2. Sign up for a new dating site in February (assuming Mr. Amazing doesn’t waltz in before that).
  3. Climb the seven summits of Phoenix in seven days.
  4. Make a real meal at least once a week.
  5. Adopt a pet.
  6. Get a bike and decrease my gas usage.
  7. Write my guest post for The Chick Lit Bee.
  8. Roll over my 401(k)s.
  9. Do six things with friends (happy hours, game nights, etc.).
  10. Find and participate in a volunteer opportunity.

This week, the warriors are answering:

  1. What have you done this past week to help you achieve your goals?
  2. Are any of your goals repeat offenders (i.e., have you made them before and not succeeded)? If so, what do you intend on doing this time to ensure you achieve them?
  3. Do you have a support system in place to help you achieve your goals?
  4. Are you a planner when it comes to meeting your goals, or do you tend to “wing it” and hope for the best?
  5. Fun Question of the Week: Who knows about your blog? Are you on blogger lockdown or do the “real” people in your life know about your blog/read your blog?

I am a big time planner (4), so immediately when I set my goals, I mapped out when I would be completing most of them, mostly in January and February.  A few others I’m winging, the idea being with March largely unscheduled, I’ll fit in the rest. 

Some of the things are things I’ve had on my to-do lists or my I’ll get around to it lists forever (2) – specifically 1, 5, 6, 7 and 8.  Damn, I’m a procrastinator.  Putting them on THIS to-do list gives me a deadline, but these are the ones I had to jump on right away. 

So what have I done about them? (1)  I opened a Roth IRA account that I will transfer my 401(k)s to.  I just got an email this morning that it is approved and ready, so now my next step is actually moving the funds.

I also attended a Meetup for a new group I just joined and RSVPed yes to a few others.  My intention behind “do six things with friends” was to make an effort to see my friends who I recently moved 30 minutes away from (and I spent time with them once last week too), but I’m excited about shaking up my social life and meeting new friends closer to where I am as well. 

I signed up for a new dating site.  It sucks and it’s not THE dating site I had in mind, which I still plan on joining in February, so I’m not sure if it counts.

I holed up in Barnes and Noble and “researched” my Chick Lit Bee post and started writing it.  This is my positive picture because I love that this is how I spent an afternoon:

I made my first real meal last night – alfredo pizza piled HIGH with garlic chicken, bell peppers, spinach, baby bellos, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes and feta cheese, yum!

And I found and signed up for a volunteer opportunity that I’ll be doing next weekend!

Not too shabby, eh?

I don’t really have a support system (3) because I keep my blog private from people in my real life (5).  I do have a good friend who’s staying on top of me about the adopt a pet thing, I think because his roommates don’t want a pet, so he wants to live through me!  I love the support I received from other warriors on my first post though and have added everyone to my Reader so I can support them as well!