What’s my age again?

After going out with a boy who looks young enough to be my son, a guy interviewing for a quick, cozy high school relationship and a guy who skateboarded to our first date, I was ready for a man and Mr. Grocery Store was wearing me down so I agreed to go out with him again. Don’t judge me. I was contemplating ways to ask him to buy me shiny things. That’s probably not helping with the judging thing.

On our planned date day, I didn’t hear from him to make plans. Yes, I could have texted him, but part of looking forward to dating a man is that you feel pursued and you know things will be handled.

I went for a run after work, probably too late to get ready for a date, but by that point I was over it. Apparently so was he. I heard from him at 6:45: “Sorry can’t make it another time.”

Wait, what?! I kinda think maybe it was part of a game…like I made it so hard for him to see me, that he decided to give me a taste of my own medicine and take back some of the power? I also kinda think I think too much. I didn’t respond.

The next day, I got this: “Emjaye. What a wuss!” Now I’m not even sure what this means. I was a wuss because I didn’t call him on his Wednesday bullshit?  Again, thinking too much to explain men who just don’t make sense. Again, didn’t respond.

Remember when I said I’d probably run into him everywhere after the last time I called things off? I didn’t. Apparently things weren’t awkward enough yet. After this most recent failed date, now it’s awkward enough so of course I ran into him! On Friday on my way into the gym I saw him before he saw me as we were walking toward each other. I waved and said hi and his reaction was priceless.

His initial reaction was to smile and his body language was open, but then I could see him remember the past few days and his shoulders hunched and he gave me a “I’m too cool” head nod and changed direction! Someone’s a sulky little boy.

So, my question is…WHAT would the point of dating someone old enough to be my dad be if he still acts like the late-20s dudes I am at least more attracted to and are better kissers anyway?!

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Not MY Baby

So, yesterday I called my date the “baby manager” from an old job. When we worked together, he was 19 and looked even younger. We worked in different departments and our only real interaction was once I had an unhappy guest who wanted to talk to a manager and I grabbed BM (he was an assistant front office manager) to appease this guest.  He was slightly less than appeased, though. He looked at this kid, looked at his name tag, which did say manager, and kinda laughed out a, “YOU’RE a manager?”

From there, we connected on Facebook and for some reason, over the summer, he started messaging me, which turned to texting, which turned to him deciding we needed to hang out, which turned to him declaring his intentions further by calling it a date. Persistent? Yes. Surprisingly confident for a younger guy? Yes. I think it was the surprising confidence that wore me down and had me agree.

He’s a ripe 22 now BTW. Six years younger than me. Me being six years younger than Yogi, but damn it feels strange to be on the other side. My aversion to younger men is typically the maturity factor, but I actually did forget at times that he was so young, but then again, who can’t act mature for two hours?!

Anyway, I’m jumping ahead of myself. I gave him two options for the date. Option 1 – he could join me for yoga and then we could hit happy hour sushi or option 2 – I could go to yoga, go home and clean up like an adult and meet him for dinner-time sushi. This yoga thing might actually be turning into a thing and I’m not sure if it’s a test (BM had also never done yoga) or more about me being stubborn and wanting to go to yoga and being like, “this is what I’m doing, you can come or we can NOT hang out.” Reason #76 why I’m single.

I liked option 1 because then I could go in sweaty gym clothes, so it would be less like a date and then it would be over earlier so I could still make my 9:30 bed time. Reasons #77 and 78 why I’m single and reason #34 why I’m an OLD lady. Fortunately, he liked option 1 too.

Or unfortunately, because two minutes in (to the date, not even into the yoga class), THIS happened:

Me: Here’s my gym card and I have a guest today. [Gestures at BM]
Check-in Lady: Is he your son?

Super awkward. We laughed, I hope she felt like the blind, evil lady she is and we went off to yoga class with a, “let’s go, Mom,” from him.

He actually did well in the class and said he enjoyed it and then we went to sushi in our sweaty non-date date clothes. He called me Mom a couple more times. We had big sake bombs (too big for me). I felt like a bad date a few times because I was not being the best conversationalist, but it wasn’t as terribly awkward as I was expecting – he let his I’m-a-cool-guy-22-year-old guard down a bit and mentioned a few other things we should do together in the future – so I guess he wasn’t too put off by my off-putting behavior.

So, it’s a question mark. I went in not thinking it would be anything fantastic and romantic and it wasn’t, but it wasn’t awful. Which is not a very sparkling review.

Either way, I definitely earned this square on my BINGO card.

No Name Update: He still can’t let it go! He sent me a text today asking if I was seeing someone because apparently that’s the ONLY reason a woman wouldn’t be tripping over her own feet to be with him. I said no, I just don’t mind being alone and he said he was surprised I wouldn’t give it a chance and I said I had, but it no longer deserves a chance just because there was nothing going on. To which he said, “okay…your call.” IS it?! Because he doesn’t seem to be okay with giving up that control and going along with what I’m saying.

 

A Tale of Two-Point-Five Rejections

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

Six months ago I got my personal training certification. It expires after two years and I didn’t want to sit on it and suddenly realize it’s December 2012 and I hadn’t yelled at a single fat person, so I’ve been looking for part time opportunities. The local Y chapter, which has 17 branches, is doing a major overhaul of its personal training program, basically trying to keep up with the explosion of CrossFit, and had a job fair to hire a bunch of new trainers.

I submitted my resume, which impressively lays out the fact that I read a book, took a test and really like to run, and got a call with a time to come to their job fair at the ghettoist branch they have. It was like when the kids go to the city in Adventures In Babysitting, except it was light out and there were no bad guys after me, so mostly I was just being a sheltered wuss.

I met with two friendly ladies, one old man who thought he was Jack LaLanne and one younger man who was the head honcho and looked like freaking Josh Duhamel, so you know…HOT. Since Joshy has played both bad guy and bad boy, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of bad this man had in him (bad guy = bad, bad boy = good). Josh Duhamel 2.0 had had a quite unfortunate name. Like Drew Barrymore’s teasing nickname in Never Been Kissed, except it was his real last name.

Considering I don’t have any experience, I thought I did well in the interview, but it was one of those interviews that when you leave, you’re not sure if you’d be happier if they offered it to you or kind of relieved if they didn’t. I mean, if they did, I’d get to work with Mr. Not Grossy, but he’d be my boss.

If they didn’t, I’d keep up with the status quo. I had gone in thinking it was potentially a part time gig, but it was full time and had a “competitive salary,” and although we didn’t talk numbers, I’m pretty sure “competitive” in the PT world is not really anything compared to what I’m used to – and still struggling with – currently.

I hit the hiring fest at the end and the group was making decisions the next day, so I went home to wait it out with my men of Match.com to keep me company. And WHO do I see?! Mr. Not Grossy! Not only is he not married – did I mention I had noticed his lack of wedding ring in .8 seconds? – he’s single and looking, and oh yeah, still HOT. He had viewed my profile, which might explain why he was looking at me like he was trying to place me during the interview. But, alas, he had not emailed or even winked at runningmj. How rude (and completely silly).

Rejection count: .5

Now, I’m a great online dater and have no problem winking or emailing, but I decided if I was potentially going to be working with Mr. Not Grossy, I’d do best to leave the winking out of it.

On decision day, I got pushed off to a different branch, went for round two there and again had mixed feelings about it, so when that D-day came and I heard nothing, I was bummed and relieved at the same time. I didn’t have my heart on it, so that was fine, but still!

Rejection count: 1.5

I figured there wasn’t anything else to lose, so I logged on to match, found Mr. Not Grossy again and sent a quick “since I didn’t get the job, do I at least get a date?”

Not as cute typed out as it was in my head, but I was hoping that even though he didn’t like my profile enough on its own to email me, pair that with me in real life and it’s a no-brainer.

It’s been a few days and I have not yet heard back from Mr. Not Grossy. Maybe he’s not a member? Or maybe he is and…

Rejection count: 2.5