This is why he’s single.

I started back up on Match. Ugh. My super optimistic plan is to fail in the first six months I’ve paid for to get their free six month guarantee.

One of my NYR is to go on 12 dates. It’s not many, but it sets a standard to go out at least once a month and Match is a good way to meet at least one guy a month to go out with without feeling like I’m going overboard and dating for dinner (although, skipping ahead a bit, that’s what I felt like this week).

However, since starting back on Match and in theory telling the universe I’m ready, I’m finding other options popping up. But that’s for another time. This post is really about how if I keep up with the bullshit of online dating I’ll get fat.

Not only will there be a lot of drinking and eating on dates, I tend to promise myself I’ll stop for a sweet treat if the date’s a bust. This week my first date since being back was no exception. I feel like everything about this guy screamed, “this is why I’m single!”

He lives in Glendale. A red flag I somehow missed in the qualifying stages.

He looked good in most pictures, but there was one that made me question it. The unfitting pieces sticking out in the one picture stuck out even more when I met him.

But, the date was set – and let’s be honest, month #1 was wrapping up and I appreciate staying on track – so off I went (to the place where I got dumped, then didn’t care that I got dumped because I had Lucky, ugh). And more NOs popped up.

He had bad teeth.

And he is 33 with four roommates.

And he has a terrible laugh (one of those, like uh huh huh huuuh, does that make sense?).

And he talked about himself, bourbon and sports (the boring ones) excessively, using “like” to pepper his sentences like (a proper use) a valley girl circa 1993.

And he had no clue I was sooo checked out the entire time. He was too busy burping.

Eventually the night ended, not early enough, but still with froyo piled with chocolate.

And now it’s been a few days and I haven’t heard from him. Um, he can’t reject me, I’m rejecting him!

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3 thoughts on “This is why he’s single.

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