Stirrups

When you wake up on the morning of your annual well woman exam (what a cheesy name), you know it’s just not going to be a comfortable day. My experience has certainly changed over the years from my first attempt when I was 19 and thought I needed an exam to get BC to have sex, so went to my general practitioner who had been my doc since I was like 10 and he asked if I was sexually active (I wasn’t, I was planning ahead) and explained he didn’t want my first experience to be with a speculum (so awkward just remembering this convo), so he gave me a prescription for the blood clot causing patch and sent me on my way.

I’m much more comfortable talking about lady issues now (obviously since I’m writing about it for all the interwebbers to read) and fortunately I have a doc I love so much that I drive 45 minutes to see her, as I did yesterday.

The appointment started with the nurse telling me my doc had a student with her today and would that be okay, which it was. The student came in first to chat and do the beginning of the exam and she looked familiar, which I guess is a good thing, but it was an awkward first few minutes trying to decide if I actually knew her before she started poking around. I didn’t.

Then I had to have the awesome convo where I admit I stopped talking my birth control pills because of “lack of need” and when I said I was thinking about going back on them, she asked if I had any new potential partners on the horizon, which was really a nice reminder that this might be the most action my vajayjay sees all year.

Gone are the days when I shave and prepare and worry about if I should keep my socks on (I wasn’t wearing socks anyway). It was the day before my wax appointment, so literally the situation was as bad as it gets and I didn’t shave my legs, so the now TWO women staring at my cervix probably understood why there was a lack of need for birth control at this point.

My doc asked if the student could do the exam, so I said sure, but of course she had a problem with her tool (my vagina apparently has this effect on people), so she poked for a while before they switched midstream and my doc finished up. Fantastic.

But, when I went to check out I had no co-pay and I still don’t really know why (the new healthcare laws that also cover BC now maybe?) , but that did help that I didn’t have to pay for the awkward encounter!

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