I have good dating stories and I like to amuse people with them, which is probably why I started this blog. Some of the dating stories are funny in the moment, like a really bad first date with some guy I met online and some take a little longer to find funny.
I was telling some of my dating stories to a new friend and as an outsider, he was quick to point out that my stories have a theme.
Specifically, an up-and-down, back-and-forth, hot-and-cold, on-and-off theme running through all my recent relationships.
And I realized he was right. All of my stories were like, “and we had just gotten back together” or “and we stopped dating for a while.” This is not so much funny to me.
I thought about it and every relationship I’ve been in since I moved back to Arizona for a fresh start has involved numerous breakups.
Hell, I might even say all of my relationships. The exception being my college boyfriend. He showed me the beauty of the it’s-called-a-breakup-because-it’s-broken-if-it’s-broke-don’t-fix-it-exes-don’t-need-to-be-friends idea.
Clearly I paid attention and have followed that closely ever since.
The thing is, it’s easy when I’m single to make a hard-and-fast rule that if someone doesn’t want to be with me, then he doesn’t get to be with me, not then, not if he changes his mind, just not at all, but inside a relationship, that black and white starts to look awfully gray.
I’m all about changing the ingredients to get a new cake, but for now, I’m ignoring this harsh realization because Lucky and I are on-again and I’m fully committed to this trying again thing with him. As time goes by and with each date we go on, I feel less like I have to make the caveat of “but if it doesn’t work out this time, I’m really done” as I’ve tried in vain to make in the past, because it feels different and it feels good.
Here’s to hoping for a different ending this time around.