This year I’m attempting to have a monthly focus in an effort to introduce new, good habits into my life.
In February, my focus is to read every day. I’ve been good in the past few months at having a book I’m reading at all times, but sometimes it would lay on my coffee table for days before I picked it up again. I enjoy reading, so I’m making more of an effort to pick up the book every day. It helps when I’m reading books that I like, but don’t love. Cough, Hunger Games, cough.
A few days ago, I decided to pull in another focus as well. In February I’m going to focus on knowing my worth. I mean, I know it, but I don’t always act like it.
Over the weekend I wanted to text…wait for it…TGISWOTSD. I know, huh? There’s more to the story that’s happened in the past few months that hasn’t been written about and let’s just say I won, but still I knew it was beneath me to text him to wish him a happy birthday month, so, I didn’t. I don’t have to be the girl who pops herself back into her exes’ lives to remind them I’m awesome or to see if they still carry a torch.
My exes actually do plenty of that all on their own. I often wonder if other women have the same issues with exes who WILL NOT GO AWAY. Far too many of mine think it’s perfectly acceptable to hang around in my life. Like leeches. I guess they think it’s romantic because the way they render it, I’m the one that got away?
Well, where’s the one who won’t let me get away? Where’s the one who won’t be a leech, sucking my life?
Sometimes I think I’m to blame because I teach them it’s okay to treat me this way. I play the one that got away when I should be playing the one who doesn’t want you now (regardless of whose decision it was in the first place) and won’t put up with you in her life because she’s so much better than that and has someone so much better waiting in the (hopefully near) future.
I fully know why they do it and I guess it’s the same reason I do it.
Maybe this worth focus is a multi-month process. I already know my worth. Maybe February is going to be acting on it. March can be just being it, without any of this fake it til you make it crap.