So….I signed up for Match over the weekend. Just created a profile, really.
But, the functionality of the site as well as the seeming quality of men on there – seriously, and we all KNOW my standards are actually getting higher, which makes no sense – got to me. That plus the 29 emails I had received, but was unable to read or even see who they were from, had me reaching for my credit card.
Yes, after bitching about money all weekend, I gave in and signed up. For SIX months, which assuming failure, gives me another six for free. Match Guarantee, they call it. Match is actually guaranteeing me love. And I’m sitting back like a surly teenager, arms crossed, showing them what a challenge they have on their hands. I should probably read the fine print because I’m not sure what exactly counts.
The 29 emails quickly pared down to 15, but that’s still not terrible.
I came up with these new rules for this new adventure:
This is about keeping my options open and I’m going to make it fit my life however I want.
No younger men.
No out of area men, which may even include no west-siders. Although I may or may not have already emailed a sexy lumberjack from Boise because that’s where I’m currently dreaming of living.
No lame jobs.
Be nice about height. (Something new I’m trying after realizing how silly these people look.)
Deleting emails without responding is perfectly acceptable. It’s a freaking smorgasboard, after all.
The emails are pinged to my email address attached to this blog, which is – gasp – a fake email address (well, real, but fake, but, well whatever) that I don’t check too often and that is not sent directly to my phone so I won’t be dealing with constant overload.
Skipping days between logging on is completely acceptable. If I’m going to be at this for a year and spend an hour or two every time I log in, I could do it once a week and still kill 100+ hours of my life. Ugh.
There are no dates per week or even month minimum. And I’m not changing any plans for first or second dates.
Per Patti Stanger, online dating is just 1/3 of my dating search. I’m still trying to be approachable IRL and asking to be set up – although I never actually have been. The guys who it didn’t work out with don’t seem too keen on introducing me to their friends. And the normal people who tell me they have someone for me never close the deal. I’m not kidding here, folks, I’ll try anything!
No responding to men who lack originality.
No Cowboys fans. This is not a new rule. This is a non-negotiable.