Sometimes I say things and people look at me as if I have two heads. Apparently things I think are “sayings” are not actually sayings. Or sometimes they are just not sayings that young people these days have heard. What can I say? I’m an old soul.
And then there are times when I just make shit up (mostly acronyms and I use them like they’re a thing), but we’re not talking about those times right now.
We’re talking about my recent overuse of the phrase “kissing frogs.” To me, that means dating guys who aren’t right for me, with the implication that it’s in my search to find my prince.
Maybe people my age just didn’t read fairy tales when they were younger?
Anyway, I told a girlfriend my theory at happy hour and she suggested I just walk up to strangers and kiss them to knock out the numbers. Missing the point.
I told my bestie my theory and he asked, “and by kiss, you mean sleep with?” Missing the point so very much, but thanks for the vote of confidence about my whore-ish ways. I let him know I have not slept with 12 men in my life, let alone in between the last two guys I actually liked, nor do I plan on sleeping with 12 in the next five months.
A third, when he assumed I literally meant kiss and I asked him about why no one got it said it was less about not knowing what “kissing frogs” meant and more about knowing what “kissing” meant. Touche.
My good friend, Peaches, inadvertently taught me a technique to use in these situations. He – yes, Peaches is a boy – tells this awesome story – all his stories are awesome, you should meet him and just listen to him talk – that involves his playboy father, his playboy father’s lady friend, a dead bird and the phrase, “it’s a well-known fact.”
So now, anytime someone questions my stories or my phrases that may be from different centuries, I simply say, “it’s a well-known fact that…” and then they can’t argue because obviously they are the stupid one. It actually kinda worked on bestie.
Am I that far off? Is “kissing frogs” not actually a thing?