Making Friends for Dummies

Go back to elementary school.  Do not pass GO.  Do not collect $200.


I moved back to Arizona in 2009 to be close to family and friends and to be honest, both have kind of let me down.  My parents would love to see me daily, that’s not really the point.  My sis has gone bridezilla other things on her mind and we live on opposite sides of a very large metropolitan area.

My friends have coupled off and done the whole disappearing thing (which I have admittedly been guilty of at times myself) and/or are in very different places in their lives. Plus, a few months ago, I up and moved about 30 minutes away from everyone I know here. 

The sad truth is that, although “do six friend things” was one of my first Winter Wonderland Warriors goals I crossed off back at the beginning of February, I haven’t done much with friends since then.

So, what’s a girl to do to avoid ONLY hanging out with her parents or ALWAYS sitting at home watching SATC?

Well, obviously I’m dating, but men you date don’t easily become men you are friends with, even if you’ve only been out with them once or twice.  It’s just weird.  It’s nice to have male friends without the pressure of romantic overtones and more importantly, a girl needs girlfriends. 

I kind of imagined I’d start dating someone and meld into his group of friends, but no guy would want to date a girl who didn’t have friends of her own!

I finally called out my best friend on his disappearing act.  I know why he did it, but I let him know it still sucks and he’s been making more of an effort in the friendship again which is nice. 

As a bonus, his house is social central to a group of really fun people (via his brother, another close friend).  It’s a strange thing to work my way in and become friends v. being friends of friends, but I’m tired of feeling lonely, so I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone.

Also, I’m finally participating in some Meetups.  I found a great women’s group to hang out with.  I’ve done a happy hour and baseball game with them and have committed to another game as well as a St. Patrick’s Day event. 

The event organizer hit it right on the nose when she said it’s like girl-dating because you have to strike up a conversation, find things in common, awkwardly ask for their phone number and ask them to hang out outside of the group. 

The girls are really nice and hopefully a few months down the road we will laugh about how awkward it was to get to know each other considering how well we get along.  Yeah, it’s totally dating.

If I could go back to fantasy college and take any course, Making Friends 101 would be on the top of the list!


3 thoughts on “Making Friends for Dummies

  1. We’re there right now. B is currently working his way into the center of the guys crowd from being a friend of a friend to being the friend. We’re doing a lot of inviting to the guys hoping that getting them coming around will mean that they’ll call when they’re doing things. It’s working pretty well. One of the guys even wants me to wing-chick for him – that could be fun. 😉

    But as far as me making girlfriends…it’s a big fat zero. There’s the Officer’s Spouses Club but it’s as snooty as it sounds.

    Couple friends are just as rare. If you find any tricks that work, definitely pass them along. 🙂

  2. When I moved away from Arizona, I was pretty much in the same boat. I moved to live with my boyfriend, because I was tired of my small town and because I wanted a change but it was rough. My best friend lived up here but you would never know it because when she’s in a relationship she’s non-existent( and when is she not in a relationship?) I really lucked out because I met really good people I worked with and built a friendship with them and now their my best friends. It’s just hard because when your an adult, well, it’s hard to make friends as easily. Que sera sera and all that.

  3. Pingback: Pencils down, the test is over. How did you do? « The Next Moment

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