I’m Too Old For This, Dating Edition

Sadly, most of these have happened, but as I’m jumping into my new approach to dating, I’m realizing this is shit I’m too old for!

Being asked, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” on a first date.

Going on a pre-relationship date to a casual chain – Chili’s, Olive Garden, CPK.  I love all these places.  When I’m in sweats and going out with a girlfriend for a post-breakup breakdown.

Training a man to be a boyfriend.  This usually results in handing a well-mannered, wonderfully-smelling, considerate man over to the next girl.

Dating a man who lives with his parents.  This one is not completely black and white since now I’m actually heading into dating territory where the man might actually be caring for his aging parents, but it’s mostly black and white.

Listening to a man talk about high school during the first few dates.  Where he went? If he played sports?  That’s plenty.  If he hasn’t realized that high school sucked and was not actually the best time of his life, he is not far enough removed from it yet and, while he’s probably pretty hot, has all of his hair and is in his sexual prime, he’s just a baby and most likely living with his parents.

Dating a server (which I am currently doing, ugh).

Spending a date listening to a man quote movie lines. 

Dating a man who spends more time playing video games than I spend blogging.  I’d say plays video games on a regular basis at all, but if he can accept this quirk of mine, I’ll give him an hour a day (hopefully not taken all at once every Saturday afternoon).

Jumping into a cozy relationship.  I’m a woman who appreciates the art of dating and this isn’t college.

Dating a man who thinks condoms during the dating stage are optional.  Or going out with a man who tells me on the first date that he has one.

Sleeping with a man before I’m ready in an effort to keep him around.  Some things are worth the wait.

Paying on a first date (except in the very rare case that I asked him out) and not paying by the fourth.

Dating a man without SOME kind of savings.

Dating a man who hasn’t had one constant in his life for at least a year…job, car, dog, location, SOMETHING to show he has some kind of stick-to-it-tiveness in him.

Not being open-minded when it comes to dating.  A blind date?  Meeting a man online?  Meeting a man at the grocery store?  A short guy?  An east coaster?  Sign me up.

NOT asking to be set up by friends.

Being set up by friends who think that the only necessary criteria is “well, you’re both single.”

Wasting more than one date on a bad prospect.  I will repeat this until it’s second nature.

Settling for a man who doesn’t possess my three must-haves OR being too quick to cross a man off if he’s not everything on THE LIST.

Getting trashed on a first date.

Dating a man who ONLY texts, like ONLY, like will see my call and text back two seconds later, “What’s up?”

Dating a man who uses too many text abbreviations, but again, older men think this is cool or something, so it’s a little gray. 

Stringing a man along or otherwise taking advantage if I’m not interested.

Long distance relationships.

Dating a man who thinks “I have my own car and place” is a pick up line.

Being in relationships that are best described by songs like Love the Way You Lie or My Life Would Suck Without You.

Being in a relationship that doesn’t allow me to fully be me.

What other immature dating bullshit have I missed?


One thought on “I’m Too Old For This, Dating Edition

  1. Pingback: K.I.T. « The Next Moment

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