When No One is Watching

Reverb 10, Day 25 Photo – a present to yourself.
Sift through all the photos of you from the past year. Choose one that best captures you; either who you are, or who you strive to be. Find the shot of you that is worth a thousand words. Share the image, who shot it, where, and what it best reveals about you.

My sister is the queen of candids.  She might have a future as a paparazzo because she has a knack for capturing truly awful moments (mid-chew, half-blink, disgusted look on my face because I am no doubt judging someone harshly at that exact moment). 

And then she puts every single picture she took on Facebook, even the pictures where right afterward she said, “oh, that’s not such a good one, let’s try again” and then she tries again and I end up tagged in two of essentially the same picture, one where I look constipated and another where I look excessively goofy because I’m trying TOO hard to make it not suck.  Untag, TYVM.

You know in the time-travel Harry Potter movie where future (or past, or whatever) Hermione says, “is that really what my hair looks like from the back?”  The good thing about my sister’s weird obsession is that she provides those moments for me.  Sometimes her happy trigger finger captures a genuine moment and I get all, “is that really what I look like when I’m unaware that anyone is focusing on me, let alone immortalizing this second of my life?”

This is my favorite one of those that she took this year.

 

The picture was taken on Thanksgiving Eve at a friend’s house.  He got a big group together for a bonfire.  In the cup? Spiked homemade cranberry cider.  Yum.

So why do I like it?  Why is it so me?

I’m surrounded by my closest friends.  I’m enjoying a beautiful Arizona fall night.  I’m listening to somebody tell a story and I’m obviously enthralled and amused.  I always have a fake smile in my back pocket in case I need it, but that is a genuine smile. 

That is the genuinely happy, relaxed and confident woman I want to be all the time.  I imagine if someone caught me off-guard on a regular day, the look on my face would be more of a frown, not because I’m bummed, but because that is the natural relaxed look of my face and I’m usually thinking, which combined, creates a not-so-inviting look, although a look that tend to invite total randos to tell me to smile (they get the fake one). 

The woman in the picture, though…she is friendly and fun and approachable.  She’s the best reflection of inner me I’ve seen all year.

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