Ch-ch-ch-changes and Capable

Reverb 10, Day 1 One Word.
Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Changes
2010 was a year of changes.  To get the full story, we have to go back to 2009. 

In 2009, I made the decision to move from my college town in California, where I had been living for 7 years, back to Arizona.  I imagined, upon moving, I would live in Scottsdale, work in marketing, reconnect with my high school friends, spend time with my family and start dating, eventually finding a handsome, successful boyfriend.  There was a dog, there was awesome hair and a super hot Pilates body, even though I don’t practice Pilates.

You would think THAT would be the year of change, but 2009 all but laughed in my face.  2010 was a lot of the same.  I was still stuck in the “temporary”  job I got when I moved, at which I felt underappreciated and suffocated.  I went through a back and forth relationship with a man who didn’t deserve me for a lot of the year.  My big, ugly apartment was cold and then hot, and always lonely and sad.

My changes started in May with a break up hair cut (hello, awesome hair).  Then in August, the other changes began to materialize.  I got a new job.  In marketing.  In Scottsdale.  I moved to Scottsdale.  It’s not everything I imagined it would be and more, but the change started to shake my life up in a good way.

Before starting my new job, I visited my California friends and realized it’s not about location, it’s about relationships and I’m glad to still have a strong one with them despite the distance.  I have struggled with the relationships with my friends in Arizona, but lately, we are reconnecting as the new people we’ve become.  I’ve become closer to some and have been able to admit that there are some that I just don’t need in my life.  My relationship with my family has its highs and lows, but adjusting to the change of being an adult child living close by has been fun.  I come from good people.

Not everything has come together as planned.  My handsome, successful boyfriend still eludes me, but the love lessons I’ve learned this year have changed my attitudes and behaviors in wonderful ways. 

It’s been a year of growing pains, because changes aren’t always easy, but for the most part, I’m genuinely happy in a way that I haven’t been in a long time and that’s the best change I could have asked for.

Capable
I’ve been que sera, sera about life, but that attitude leaves what ifs and oh wells.  Welcoming change and accepting happiness in my life needed to come first.  Now that I’m there and I’ve had some successes, I see that I’m an active participant in my life and truly capable. 

Thinking and talking about my goals is great, but working toward and achieving them is so much better.  In 2011, I’m going after everything with wild abandon.  Because I can.  I don’t want 2011 to be comfortable and complacent, I want it to be challenging, because even when it’s challenging, maybe more so when it’s challenging, I’m capable.

At the end of 2011, I want to say that it was a year in which I was capable of creating my own change. 

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3 thoughts on “Ch-ch-ch-changes and Capable

  1. Very inspiring, i think we all need to wake up and grab life with two hands. We humans get way too complacent about life and what it has to offer. I look forward to reading about your advertures.

  2. Pingback: Missing the Experience « The Next Moment

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