I officially just became That Girl. The one who spends her lunch break wandering around Crate & Barrel. She knows what she wants to buy but doesn’t quite get how C&B works, so she makes a mental note and goes back to work to order online.
While there wandering – and this is where I became That Girl – she talks on the phone. I’m not one of those people who thinks that for a cell phone to work YOU HAVE TO SHOUT INTO IT, but intimate conversations with friends are meant to be had in the comfort of your home. Thanks to modern technology, though, we can have these conversations anywhere we want! Conversations that catch us up with a friend who’s been on vacation for the last week. First I listen as he laments going on a family-funded cruise (oh, the torture), then I discuss.
I discuss my race and how I showed up hungover, my inappropriate crush on my new trainer who will prepare me for my next race with lengthy stretching sessions, my recent breakup, the mystery flowers I received from one of who knows how many suitors, the guy who actually sent them and how we are hopefully going to go out soon, the guy he works with (okay, his boss) who I had a small tryst with and is now avoiding me, the fact that boss man isn’t NOT talking to me because I gave him something (my friend’s guess…gee thanks) because a. we didn’t “hook up” in THAT sense and b. I actually just got my tests back and I’m so fresh and so clean, the fact that he’s actually not talking to me because his nickname for me is Trouble because he’s involved elsewhere and lastly that we need to get together for a happy hour so we can spread the TMI love all across our city.
You’re welcome, associates and patrons of Crate & Barrel, for that play-by-play of the last week of the life of this hot mess. Consider it payback for the fact that now I either have to pay shipping or order extra shit to qualify for free shipping…and we both know which one it’s going to be.